its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
