once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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