hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize