I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
