I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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