i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
