i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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