just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
