you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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