Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My life is pants optional.
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