too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize