Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
