Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize