I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
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There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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