Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I am mentally ready for anal.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
