I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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