Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
