atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
