dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
