I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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