Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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