I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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