Plan B is the new Plan A
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Couch. On fire.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
