Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
