these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
worst night to have a conscience
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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