Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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