I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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