I'm pants shitting drunk right now
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
