her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
