His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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