Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
