Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you win again, gameday.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
