Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
