She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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