I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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