found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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