How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just want nice things and good sex
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
