It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
