im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
