Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
