Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.

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(631): woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again. http://tfl.nu/84mk

Replies (23) Good night (1242) Bad night (3999)
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(360): View more from Washington

Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.

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(360): Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time. http://tfl.nu/zvvg

Replies (7) Good night (3379) Bad night (1121)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic

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(218): we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic http://tfl.nu/my08

Replies (6) Good night (3064) Bad night (824)
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(213): View more from California

Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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(213): Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans. http://tfl.nu/11hu

Replies (14) Good night (6267) Bad night (1838)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed

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(901): Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed http://tfl.nu/avah

Replies (9) Good night (1733) Bad night (4594)
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(805): View more from California

100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.

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(805): 100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun. http://tfl.nu/nptp

Replies (5) Good night (2144) Bad night (1077)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.

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(541): Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots. http://tfl.nu/feja

Replies (4) Good night (3163) Bad night (808)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.

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(480): Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes. http://tfl.nu/0e2s

Replies (11) Good night (2376) Bad night (877)
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(301): View more from Maryland

His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.

(1-301): View more from Maryland

I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.

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(301): His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy. (1-301): I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok. http://tfl.nu/z40b

Replies (16) Good night (3057) Bad night (721)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"

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(270): My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50" http://tfl.nu/q36v

Replies (11) Good night (1961) Bad night (648)
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(512): View more from Texas

Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead

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(512): Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead http://tfl.nu/k2d6

Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (514)
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(212): View more from New York

She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.

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(212): She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess. http://tfl.nu/ade3

Replies (10) Good night (1501) Bad night (926)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

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(717): We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes. http://tfl.nu/zq4p

Replies (5) Good night (2087) Bad night (674)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.

(505): View more from New Mexico

But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess

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(505): It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die. (505): But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess http://tfl.nu/nbb1

Replies (3) Good night (625) Bad night (362)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.

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(+44): Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us. http://tfl.nu/xc1d

Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (216)

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