Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.

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  (604): Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den. http://tfl.nu/26h2
  Replies (20) Good night (2512) Bad night (751)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.

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  (920): I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on. http://tfl.nu/vax8
  Replies (15) Good night (3559) Bad night (650)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?

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  (630): I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward? http://tfl.nu/ncf8
  Replies (36) Good night (723) Bad night (2921)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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  (513): you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that. http://tfl.nu/6e0s
  Replies (11) Good night (759) Bad night (4551)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

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  (330): just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months. http://tfl.nu/uiec
  Replies (28) Good night (980) Bad night (5325)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.

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  (832): I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style. http://tfl.nu/zqa3
  Replies (8) Good night (5334) Bad night (977)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

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  (337): Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/whuj
  Replies (39) Good night (7512) Bad night (1196)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had

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  (440): omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had http://tfl.nu/fpfu
  Replies (28) Good night (1679) Bad night (4072)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.

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  (630): Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome. http://tfl.nu/a2zp
  Replies (2) Good night (1380) Bad night (572)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."

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  (603): I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses." http://tfl.nu/iu6o
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.

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  (303): Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture. http://tfl.nu/4zls
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (378)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!

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  (902): My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??! http://tfl.nu/o8bu
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.

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  (406): I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners. http://tfl.nu/nx0p
  Replies (0) Good night (670) Bad night (314)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now

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  (850): If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now http://tfl.nu/v3ja
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.

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  (952): We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/wqik
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (270)

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