dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are