Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.

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  (512): i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th. http://tfl.nu/3s5y
  Replies (9) Good night (2703) Bad night (894)
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  (310): View more from California

  the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.

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  (310): the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him. http://tfl.nu/jidd
  Replies (27) Good night (7094) Bad night (1641)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.

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  (715): i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign. http://tfl.nu/r2le
  Replies (15) Good night (5170) Bad night (923)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?

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  (207): I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar? http://tfl.nu/a7cq
  Replies (37) Good night (6953) Bad night (1081)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.

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  (704): Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second. http://tfl.nu/m6sh
  Replies (5) Good night (924) Bad night (592)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.

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  (865): Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this. http://tfl.nu/hz85
  Replies (11) Good night (1982) Bad night (550)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas

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  (210): The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas http://tfl.nu/zrzb
  Replies (8) Good night (1417) Bad night (655)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.

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  (609): Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka. http://tfl.nu/ktyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1166) Bad night (475)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.

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  (732): Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train. http://tfl.nu/hytn
  Replies (4) Good night (872) Bad night (424)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.

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  (252): Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation. http://tfl.nu/waj0
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (583)
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  (818): View more from California

  I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.

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  (818): I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful. http://tfl.nu/482k
  Replies (2) Good night (832) Bad night (230)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.

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  (413): My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well. http://tfl.nu/9225
  Replies (2) Good night (210) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  See! Theres potential!

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.

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  (417): See! Theres potential! (1-417): Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome. http://tfl.nu/li8b
  Replies (9) Good night (663) Bad night (233)
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  (518): View more from New York

  THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason

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  (518): THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason http://tfl.nu/3zx2
  Replies (4) Good night (307) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Literally.

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  (312): I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth. (312): Literally. http://tfl.nu/rigg
  Replies (4) Good night (532) Bad night (173)

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