Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I could make wine with my vomit
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
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hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
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The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.