Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!