so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
