She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
