I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
