I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
