I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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