If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
