I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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