It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it glows. i had to have it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
