At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
