At least make sure they are 18
Why
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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