We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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