OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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