I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
